Expanding Through Connection

Connection is the catalyst for growth—and awareness of who you surround yourself with shapes everything. In this episode of Just Call Jenna, Jenna Williams explores how community, relationships, and energy influence your personal evolution.

Drawing from the idea that growth isn’t meant to happen alone, Jenna unpacks the balance between independence and the human need for connection. She reflects on how true community isn’t just about receiving support, but also giving it—creating spaces where victories are celebrated and struggles are shared. Through relatable insights and grounded wisdom, she highlights how connection reminds us that we matter.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1BguTNuG74

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Jenna dives into the reality that as you grow, your relationships will naturally shift. Not every connection will evolve at the same pace—and that’s okay. She encourages listeners to embrace new relationships aligned with their current energy while releasing those that feel restrictive, all without guilt. With practical guidance, she explains how to identify supportive connections, set boundaries, and communicate clearly as you step into a new version of yourself.

Blending neuroscience with real-life perspective, Jenna explains how meaningful relationships fuel the brain—boosting resilience, courage, and emotional well-being. She reframes connection not as a replacement for personal growth, but as something that multiplies it.

Ultimately, this episode is a reminder to be intentional with your circle: invest in the people who energize you, limit access to those who don’t, and continue showing up as someone who contributes to a stronger, more connected world—while never forgetting that your own well-being matters just as much.

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Welcome back.

This week I'm talking about like expanding through connection. If you saw a previous episode, I talked about mirror neurons and who you're surrounding yourself with. I think a lot about there's an African proverb that if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, then you gotta go together. So you need that connection to expand.

The beauty of community is it's not just receiving, it's giving. You give and receive. It's a give and take. A strong community says You belong here. Your victories are celebrated. Your struggles are shared. You pause and breathe. How does that feel to you? Are you feeling alone? Do you feel like you're going through this and misunderstood? Community is everything.

I'm super independent. I'm self-made. I'm self-sufficient. The strong truth is that I need people. I need people too. Connection is how we remember that we matter. That was really hard for me. I'm an only child. Yes, that's half my problem. My mom stopped at perfection. But being an only child, I didn't have a lot of people there. I didn't have anything other than friendships. I didn't have siblings. I didn't have a ton of cousins or a big family. It was just a lot of me. And so I became super independent. I became not relying on anyone. Connection was really, really hard for me. I thought I could tackle the world alone. Until I had a stroke and couldn't even take a shower by myself, and I realized that I need people. I was humbled to that level.

Your people are changing. Pay attention to the new relationships that are coming in. The universe is bringing you new people. It's okay to let that become the new normal. The idea that one person is going to be our bestie, our soulmate solve all our problems Eh, maybe, but not everybody gets that. You might have the one friend who's a great listener. You might have the one friend that likes the same kind of food you do. You might have the same friend that wants to sit on the couch in sweats and watch a movie. They all matter. That's your community. One person does not have to be everything.

I think we see movies and stories and man, I used to think that I needed to have a write or die or I was not okay. And then I realized I was my ride or die. I was the human that would be with me wherever I go. And my community could expand me by letting people have different containers. multifaceted as we all are.

Remember, energy is contagious. Choose your circle wisely. Find people that are going the places you want to go. Find people who are aligned with who you are becoming.

If you want to be somebody who knits booties, go find somebody that knows how to crochet. Not me, please don't find me. I don't crochet a thing. But if that's what you want to do, go find that. If you're somebody that's artistically talented and you want to paint Go find people that paint and are into that. Go find somebody who wants to go to the museum with you and look at art.

For me, I found people that want to read. Not everybody wants to read as much as I do. But there are people I want to discuss books with. It's not a book club. I don't have a group I meet with every Wednesday and discuss books. No, I don't have that. I wanted to learn how to make a podcast. I went and made friends who ran podcasts and knew what they were doing, and I had a lot of conversations. I don't know anything about doing this. I'm winging it. But I think that that's what community is. It's finding different relationships that fill different needs. It's not the idea that I need a ride or die, or one person is going to complete me. That's not gonna happen. I completed myself. For those people that are in my life, they're here because I want them here. Because there is value in us going far together like the African proverb.

I wanted to go fast. I went alone. I could go fast. In fact, I'm a bit of a speed demon. I can go fast, fast, fast. Probably faster than most of you. But I think to understand that it didn't get me very far, I could go from point A to point B, but I wasn't expanding myself. So I started finding my community. The universe brought me in different people as my frequency changed. I started treating myself differently. Therefore, acting differently in the world, as within, so without, it's like a mirrored reflection. So the universe brought me in more people that could help me expand. And I paid attention to this. You should be paying attention to this. Who are the new people that are coming into your life? How does that feel?

Do those people make you feel good? Are they like batteries that they charge you up? Or are they like energy vampires that after you leave them, you're like, I feel terrible? And it may not be that extreme, but is it lighting you up? Is it making you shine brighter? If so, those are the people you should be around. A friend who listened, a neighbor who helped, a team that you believed in. Those are the moments that change us. You're not alone. That's your community.

I think we live in this world where we think everything has to be so extreme. Like the movies. No, there are those moments, but that's not everyday life. More of life is mundane, day to day. Right? But those are actually some of the most exciting moments that we forget to pay attention to.

So there was a study that they did and they put ten people in a line. And they ask somebody to go shake hands with all ten people, go down the line, hi, I'm so-and-so, introduce yourself and go down the line. Well, in the story, one of them will dislike you and you will feel the same. Two of you them you will trust immediately and they will feel the same and you will become friends. Well the seven others in the line, it's just neutral. And I think what we do as the negativity bias in the brain is we focus on the one person that doesn't like us or we don't like. Try focusing on the two that you have trust with that become your friends.

Do not judge the world based on this narrow view. Do not concern yourself with the one out of ten that doesn't like you. Nothing you can do about that. In fact, most times you probably don't like them either. Not everything is meant to mix. Some things are oil and water. Doesn't have to be a conflict, but if you just shift your focus To the two that you have good relations with, trust, and can become friends with. That's how you expand your community.

Let the one person that dislikes you go. And it's okay, well, maybe I don't like them either. But seven of that ten really didn't make a difference. They're just sort of background and going. So think about that. Three out of ten, two have a good thing, one have a bad thing, and seven don't even matter. So if you take that towards community, focus on the two that you get along with. And you don't have to be besties. You don't have to ride or dive, but you can be friends.

And that means You're going to share in those persons victories, share in those persons struggles. You're going to celebrate them with everything you got, and you're going to support them. When the struggle is real. And you know what? You will get the same in return. Do not spend your time trying to get the one person that doesn't like you and you don't like to be your friend. Why waste your energy? Life is short. I've said this before. It's like a game. The only thing you will regret is not having more fun.

It's like a play. Everybody's an actor, all here to play a role. Why not play the role you want to play? You can politely decline. If you want to be invited again, say so. What does that mean? Has somebody ever said, oh, please come to this and you get that FOMO? You actually really wanted to go, but you had another commitment? If you want to be invited again, say so. You can politely decline if you don't like the person. Guess what? If you politely decline two or three times, they will probably not invite you again, and that one person that doesn't like you, they weren't gonna invite you anyway. And if if they did, they're gonna make your life miserable while you're there. Most times people will move on. You will spend more time worrying about it than they do.

Let's think about that for a second. There's a quote that says Don't worry about what other people think of you. Most times they don't think very much at all about you. So you spend more time thinking about how somebody might feel about you than they actually do think about you. You can think about whether that person makes you feel expansive. Does it make you a better version of you? Or are they constrictive? You can just remove access to you.

I recently had something happen where somebody that I would have considered a friend, after I changed a little bit after the stroke, This person started acting really kinda funky around me. It didn't make me comfortable. And I was trying to keep the peace. And Eventually I got to the place after like two or three instances where I'm like, okay, this is a person's acting kind of weird. They're acting shady. I don't like it. Well, I finally got to the point of like, I'm just gonna remove access to me, because you know what I don't like the way they're acting and it's not good for me. Like self-care. It is not good for me to put myself around this bad apple.

Now that was hard because this person had been a friend before. I think that I didn't recognize that this person really wasn't happy for me. In fact, there was some shady jealousy weird stuff going on in the background that had I have known then what I know now, I would have never even let myself get looped into thinking that this person was a friend. So I just removed access to me. It's weird. It was weird. I mean, there was a group of people getting together and this person was there and I was like, yeah, it's drama I don't want. I just simply said, I have something else to do that day. Did I have something else to do that day? Not other than spend time with me. I could have made it, but why should I show up for someone who clearly doesn't like me or has some issue with me? And really I don't want anything to do with this person either, because it's not good for my human.

The only thing I will regret is not doing more of what I love. That I know for sure. So I choose for myself the way I would choose for my children or a loved one. If I wouldn't let my child go around somebody that was going to hurt their feelings and make them uncomfortable, why on earth would I do that for myself?

I think we're taught to give ourselves away. My grandma said something to me once when I was younger, and I don't think I got it until after she passed, and that was Honey, the givers need to set the limits because the takers never will, and usually the givers don't. I was a giver. I still am a giver, but I have to set those limits. I do not need to give myself away at the expense of others. It is okay to remove access to me when somebody is not good for my health. I am doing for myself what I would do for my child. If somebody was harming my child, I would remove my child from that situation. Why on earth would I not do the same for myself?

Your people are changing. Pay attention to new relationships. Pay attention to the people that support your growth. Respect your time. Honor your boundaries. One thing no one prepared me for was relationships changing as I grew and expanded, not because any person did anything wrong, but because growth is actually movement. And movement rearranges the landscape. It changes things. Your vibrations have changed. It's natural that not every relationship grows at the same energetic pace.

Energy is contagious. In a previous episode I used a metaphor that I like a lot, which is thinking about a hot air balloon. They're held down by the sandbags. You need the sandbags so you can enter the basket. But that hot air balloon cannot rise until it drops the sandbags. Not because there's anything wrong with the sandbags. They served their purpose. They had their purpose. But it's part of what got you here won't get you there. That balloon can't rise until it drops the heavy sandbags.

Growth is not just about becoming more. It's also outgrowing what no longer aligns. And sometimes that's people. Yes, that's a hard truth. Yes, sometimes it's people. Sometimes we need to move on. Sometimes we need to remove access. It doesn't need to be a big thing. Remember in a previous episode I talked about forgiveness just meaning that you don't want someone to be punished. Sometimes people are going to wrong you or not align with you. You just, okay, cool. Wish you the best.

Think about the Chinese bamboo tree that I talked about in a previous episode. For five years, it's rooting under the ground. Everything that's around it, when it's rooting, great. But then when it pokes the ground and needs to grow 90 feet tall, do you think the same things that built its roots underground are the same things that are gonna help with the sunlight? No. It's not just about becoming more. That's a natural side effect of the process. But it's also about outgrowing what is no longer aligned with you. Give yourself permission to remove access to allow space for what's helping you expand.

Familiarity equals safety to the brain. What the brain recognizes is safe. People may not always know how to be with the newest version of you or the expanded version of you. Keep growing anyway. Stop shrinking to fit the older version of you. That was then. This is now. What got you here will not get you there. Don't shrink. Your brain is looking for the familiar. It's saying, let's stay with the status quo. Let's stay right where we are. That's safe. I know how to do that. It doesn't know how to do the new things you're teaching it, but give people the space to adapt. Allow people to recognize you. Communicate with clarity. It calms your nervous system and theirs. You may be misunderstood, but you owe you the highest honor.

So let's talk about that a little bit. I think when you're thinking about that is you have to allow people to be who they are. Just like you want room to be who you are. You are growing. You are expanding. Hopefully you're not getting stuck in big things that are dramatic shifts. That are signaling fear to the brain. Hopefully they're not little short traumas. They're just little bits of growth, little 1% that tell the brain this is safe, and I'm creating new habits. But as that time goes You are going to be vibrating at a different frequency.

You are going to be living a different you. And things around you are going to change. People, places, and things. Remember the universe doesn't speak English. it speaks frequency. So you were vibrating at 10 and now you're vibrating at 13. Well, everything around you needs to change to vibrate at 13.

Connection multiplies growth. Being around the right people will multiply you.

In a previous episode, I talked about the bad apples. Things that hold you back will keep you stuck and lower you. Humans are wired for connection. Mirror neurons exist in the brain. So that at the neurological level, the brain will release oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, endorphins. That's what you will release physically when you feel seen and supportive. Supportive relationships will boost the brain's capacity to grow.

In other words, whether it be romantic love or love of friendships, same thing, those frequencies that support you, your Brain is biologically wired to tell your body to release chemicals that are good for you. Oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, endorphins. All the good chemicals that make those connections. Your brain is literally wired for that. Being connected to other human beings is important.

There was a great book written about these focus groups where they would group focus on the same task, to heal people, to like prayer circles, if you will, but from a meditation and focusing group energy in the same way. The connection powered them more. So in these groups, they would collectively focus on one thing. Like we want to heal this person. They do the same thing in many religions with prayer. It's that spiritual connection. It is the fact that the brain is wired that way. It is wired for connection. That is how we become more empowered. That is how we become who we're supposed to be, right?

It's not about going by yourself. It's going with connection. It's if you have a group and you're all focused on a common goal, you will go farther. Remember the African proverb I started out with. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. That's how the brain works. It is powered by the majority. Like maybe you've heard many hands make light work. It's the same idea. If we are going in a common goal by being connected to others, we can achieve things greater than we can by ourselves.

I think you have to think a lot about intentional reach out. You don't need a crowd, just a few important connections. Find relationships that light you up. What makes you feel better Than when you started. If you're around somebody and every time you spend time with them, they make you feel better, intentional reach out. It doesn't have to be bombing or overwhelm. But if somebody multiplies your energy and doesn't drain you, I think you should think about that.

A couple of years ago, I met somebody that is now a good friend of mine through work, and as I'm saying this, she's gonna know exactly who I'm talking about. But when we first met, I didn't see us as friends. I liked her. Sure, I did. She was good to be around, but we are total opposites. She's very introverted and calm, and I'm very extroverted and not calm. And so really opposites. But over time our friendship developed into something where I've spent holidays with her and her family now. And what made the difference was that I took the time to intentionally reach out, and she did as well.

When you're an adult, it's not easy to find time, it's not like when you're in school and everybody's at the same class every day, and so you see each other daily. Or like for example when you're all at the same workplace, it's easy to have work friends. But I think as we're adults and that proximity changes and you're not with these people every day, intentional reach out is what makes a difference. This friendship has grown over years because we both lit each other up. We both made each other feel good about ourselves and our connection to each other. And it wasn't like we got to see each other every day. We did not talk on the phone every day. It was not a bestie, ride or die. But I trust this woman. I feel like I could tell this woman anything, and this is my friend. And it was intentional reach out.

It wasn't overwhelm, it wasn't bombarding, but it was, hey, are you free for lunch next week? Oh no, I'm not. What about the following week? So it became something. And that evolved over time. So Expanding your connection is intentionally reaching out to the people that are important to you or that light you up and make you feel like an expansion of yourself. that make you feel like the you you're trying to become. Again, not you here, but you that's going there.

I think you have to take care of yourself. Find out who you are, what fuels you, and look for those people that will fuel you. Like my child. Who has friends that understand her introverted need to be alone after being around people? If you find that and you understand your tribe, your people, your connections. You can find them to fuel you.

Invest in your community, in your people, in your causes, whatever that community looks like. Be the person who shows up. Listen. Be the person who gives. And that doesn't always mean time or money. Sometimes it's peace. Sometimes it's support. Sometimes it's just listening. Sometimes it's asking questions. But when we build a community, we're really building a better world.

Self-care, you matter as much as everybody else. Thank you for joining us. Remember, karma is real. Energy is contagious, so check your vibes.