Intention and Letting Go

Intention shapes direction—and in this episode, Jenna Williams explores how setting your internal focus while learning to release what no longer serves you can change how you experience life. Jenna explains how the brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) works like a mental GPS, guiding your awareness toward what you consistently focus on. When you set an intention, your mind begins to notice opportunities, patterns, and possibilities that were always present but previously filtered out.

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Using relatable stories and practical metaphors, Jenna discusses the “halo effect” and how belief and perception influence not only how you see others, but how you see yourself. She explains that alignment is not about pretending or forcing positivity—it’s about choosing thoughts and actions that match the life you want to create. Through the idea of duality, she reminds listeners that multiple truths can exist at once, and fulfillment comes not just from achievement, but from living in harmony with your values.

The second half of the episode focuses on letting go. Jenna shares how people often carry emotional “bricks”—old mistakes, disappointments, resentment, and relationships that weigh them down. Through stories like the monk crossing the river and the monkey trap, she illustrates that holding on can feel safe but often keeps us stuck. Letting go is not loss; it is creating space for growth, peace, and forward movement.

Jenna also reframes emotional awareness as intelligence rather than weakness, explaining the mind-body connection and how thoughts, stress, and emotional patterns directly influence physical health and healing. She encourages listeners to observe their thoughts, set healthy boundaries, and remember that sometimes “no” is a complete sentence. With compassion and honesty, she emphasizes that growth requires trusting others to walk their own path while allowing yourself to evolve as well.

If you’ve ever struggled with overthinking, people-pleasing, or holding onto situations long after they’ve passed, this episode offers a gentle framework for setting intention, releasing control, and making space for peace.

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Intention and Letting Go

Welcome back. Today I'm going to be talking about intention and letting go. If you've listened to previous episodes, you know that I've talked about containers, but letting go is a big thing. And doing it intentionally is a whole other.

So I'm gonna start again with the reticular activating system in the brain. You find what you focus on. If you focus On bad, you're gonna find a whole lot more bad. If you focus on good, you're gonna find a whole lot more good.

Sounds simple, right?

No, we're humans. There is lots of distractions to shift our focus. Your RAS is kind of like your brain's GPS. It tells you where to go. So let's break that down a little bit.

One of my favorites is actually the Florida effect or the Florida study. So they took two groups of people, put them through a presentation, and in one group they talked about Florida, but they used words like elderly, slow Senile, aging, all these kind of things that the other group didn't get.

And a crazy thing happened As both groups were being walked down hallways into the main room, the group that had all the Florida aging words, they walked slower. They physically appeared more feeble than the group that was not.

That's how the filter in the brain works. You may not even be aware of what's happening in your body from your filter. But that's that's how the RAS works. It's always listening You can train your focus. It's a skill. You've been going through life doing things the way you've been doing them all along.

Intention is really about setting your intention. What do you want to do? What is the halo you wish to cast?

Let's talk about the halo effect. I find it massively fascinating. So the halo effect is that one trait can color your entire perception of somebody So for example, you might go someplace, you meet two people. One of them smiles and you decide that person is friendly. The other one just shakes your hand with a straight face.

Now, the one with the straight face might actually be way more friendly than the other one. But because you have decided that the person you met smiled and you see them as friendly, you are going to Always give them the glow of friendliness, even if they're really not. That's the halo effect.

Now let's take that a step further. What's wild is you can cast your own halo Just like you can train your rest, you can cast your own halo. How do you want to be? Do you want to be confident? You can show up as confident. You can cast out confidence and be perceived as confident.

Now, yes, not everybody's gonna see you that way, but that is your frequency. That is what you're casting, that is your halo. I find the Halo effect fascinating.

If I just show up as me, authentically me, just like I'm doing here every week. I'm authentically me. That's the halo I'm casting. Some of you are gonna love me, some of you are not gonna agree. That part might actually be pretty hard for me. In fact, it is But that is the halo I'm casting.

I learned from what I've been through, and I want to help everybody else. My intention is to help you not suffer what I did, to catch that filter before it's too late.

You might not even be aware that that filter is happening, like the Florida study. I mean I was completely unaware of how stressed out I was. I was completely unaware of my body wanting to shut down. I had no idea. I was just overachieving every day. I was busy doing that. But that's how it works.

Believe you are living the life as your dream and you can create that halo. Like if people ask me, what are you doing? I'm living the dream. I am living the dream. I get to be alive. I'm grateful every day. I thank myself every day.

Both things can be true. I can be a stroke survivor and I can also be a positive influencer. Both things can be true.

In psychology, they call it the concept of duality. So both things can be true. Like one of my favorite jokes about it, and sorry, mom, is that hanging with my mom is the only therapy I need. It's also the reason I need therapy. Both things can be true

I can be a stroke survivor and still be a positive influencer. I can be someone who went through the worst thing that I could imagine and also be somebody who can teach you how to live a happy life. Both things can be true.

The universe is not on a budget. It's abundant. There is a blueprint for just about everything. It is amazing how much is out there. But universally there's a blueprint for everything.

Me surviving a stroke, creating this podcast and doing this, I created a blueprint somewhere that somebody's gonna need. And it might be one person, it might be the masses. Do I hope that I help all the masses? Absolutely. Both things can be true. It's a concept of duality.

My perception colors things. The halo, the RAS, that's all it. So for me, I like to think about that in achievement versus success.

You've heard me say I'm an overachiever. It's what I do. It's who I am. It's part of my core. So overachieving versus being successful. Achieving was succeeding in achieving things without any real fulfillment constantly working for the next thing, getting it, maybe it felt good for a moment, and then needing the next thing to achieve, because I was literally addicted to the hormones of needing to achieve

Versus now I'm successful. I enjoy my life. I feel joy, peace every day. That is success.

You can achieve with no fulfillment But you cannot be successful without alignment.

Let's think about that for a second. What is aligned with me? What do I want? Remember that observer effect. What is it intentionally I'm trying to do? Today I'm trying to live the dream. I am living a dream life.

So yes, I went through some things, but if I go back to You know, 20-year-old Jenna, 30-year-old Jenna, she's really proud of who I am today. No, there were lessons, there were struggles. There were experiences along the way. Some were overachieving, but really I look back and count the successes that I've been with.

What successes have I made in my life Who am I now? Look at all I've done. I mean, I've survived death. I'm pretty superhuman in my opinion But I think the success is that I took that horrible thing and I'm sharing it to try to help others be themselves, to live a life that they want, to live a life worth living.

This might sound a little woo-woo, but I can tell you from being over on the other side or whatever we want to call it, there is a life review. Let me tell you what's crazy. You are reviewing yourself. It is you judging yourself at a very different level. But yes, you are the judge jury of your life.

So, why wouldn't you do what's aligned with you? Why wouldn't you consider success being how you live your life? Have a life worth living. Live in peace and joy. You can do that.

Remember the filter in your brain, that's your intention. I want this, more of this.

Some of the awarenesses like the Florida effect. You have to be sure that you understand there might be things that are filling up into your life that you're unaware of that are having effects on you.

If you take the observer effect, remember that five minute a day practice, you're just doing five minutes a day. Mine is longer than that now, but I just want you to give that five minutes a day

In that time, observe your thoughts, direct them where you want them to go. It's not that complicated.

There are what, sixteen hours a day that you're awake? Yes, you let all the hustle and bustle in. Why not give yourself five minutes? You deserve it.

At some point, you will meet yourself and you will have to explain to yourself At a level that you can't understand now. But you will have to explain to yourself why you didn't give yourself five minutes, why you didn't talk positively to yourself

You might not be aware of all those things telling you all those words that filtered into your brain like the Florida study that made you more feeble.

But you can intentionally cast your halo, show up the way you want to, and choose a life you want. Those things you absolutely have control over.

So when you think about letting go, This might be one of the hardest things to do, but I'm gonna try to walk you through it with some practical life tips that you can actually use.

So letting go. We hold on to mistakes, disappointments, bad relationships, broken hearts, loss of jobs, loss of whatever. We hold on to that. If you watched previous episodes about containers, those are big rocks that are inside your container.

They're taking up space, but you can let them go. That weighs you down. That holds you back.

I always think about a favorite question I like to ask myself, is this mine to carry?

In psychology, they talk about going through life with a backpack. You take all these things in the backpack and it gets heavier and heavier. You take them from your friends, you take them from your family, you take them from your jobs, you take all these responsibilities. Call it people pleasing, call it, you know, enabling, whatever you want to call it.

We all do it. We all take these heavy things into our bag and then we try to climb up a mountain. Well, our friends and family are getting there faster. We took all their heavy weights, So we have to be willing to let things go. You can reframe, learn to trust others with their growth. It's hard to see someone struggle. But you don't rob them of their growth. We see it and we feel it. Just like if you watch someone stub their toe and you wince in pain. It's no different. You feel that struggle and you want to save them, but that might be what they need to grow. So I really need you to ask yourself, is this mine to carry?

One of my favorite things that I taught my kids growing up. Substitute a different word here, but I said don't be a brick

So for example, let's say you go through life and you meet somebody who's a brick. Maybe that person's a brick, but if everyone you meet is a brick, you're the brick. Now don't be a brick.

So I think of that like don't be something somebody has to carry. Just like You don't want to take a brick. You don't want to give somebody a brick to hold. That's not fair. They don't need your weight.

So ask yourself, is this mine to carry? Does it rob them of their growth and their potential? Is this a lesson they need to learn? Is this mine? Is this my responsibility?

A boundary is it's okay to say no. Sometimes we have to watch people struggle because they need the lesson. So ask yourself, is that your brick to carry? And at the same time, do not give somebody a brick that they need to carry. Don't do it. They don't need the weight.

So, another one of my favorite stories about this idea is there's a story, I think it might be in Buddhism, but I could be wrong.

So two monks are walking and they come across a river. And there's a woman at the river who can't get her feet wet. Something cultural. I don't remember the whole thing

But the whole point is the one monk says, okay, puts her on his shoulders, carries her across the river, sets her down, and they go their separate ways.

They're walking down the river and the second monk says to the first one, I can't believe you carried that woman across the river.

And he says, Well, I'm done carrying her, but clearly you're not.

Think about that. I'm not carrying her anymore, but you are.

So letting go has a lot to do with that. You don't have to carry those burdens beyond the actual event of the moment But we all do it. We beat ourselves up. What if, what if, what if?

Change what if to so what? What if I had of so what? What if this goes wrong? So what?

But if you can learn to change, what if to so what? That's a huge thing. Remember, I always say words are alchemy. What you say matters.

So in thinking about that monk over the river, okay. So what I carried her across the river. I'm done with that. That that event is over. It does not need to go forward. I can set that down. This is letting go

There is a story about what they call the monkey trap.

So in a monkey trap, the way that they trap monkeys, and this is fascinating to me. is that they give them a jar with a cover and a very small opening that the monkey can get his hand in, clench his fist around the food, but can't get himself free because he won't unclench his fist

So if he would just unclench his fist, drop the food, he could be free. But they trap monkeys this way

So I've heard it called the monkey brain in us or the mammalian brain, whatever you want to call it, but the the old pieces of the brain that work that way.

How many times in life would you be better off if you just unclenched your fist?

You focus so much on that little morsel of food that you're missing the big picture that you could be free if you just let it go.

So like the monk who was upset for the other because he didn't even carry the person, but he was upset the one did. That's a break he should have laid down.

How many things could you just let go of that would set you free?

Letting go is not a loss. It's about making space.

I like to think about this like a hot air balloon. For a hot air balloon to rise, they have to let go of the sandbags. Nothing is wrong with the sandbags I like to think of it because the sandbags were needed. If I didn't have the sandbags, I couldn't enter the basket of the hot air balloon.

But for me to rise, I have to let them go. Nothing's wrong with the sandbags. They're heavy. That was their exact purpose. But I can set them down, because the balloon of Jenna needs to rise.

You are just like that. Unclench your fist. Put down the sandbags. Let things go. It's not a loss. It's making space.

That's okay, you had that experience. What did you learn from it? What did it give you? What do you want to do again and what do you want to not do again?

So I like to think of things as bricks. I don't want a load of bricks. like an eagle soaring. That eagle can't fly if it's carrying a ton of bricks, but if I cut the rope and the load of bricks falls, the eagle can now soar, kind of like the hot air balloon in the sandbags

I have to set things down because they're not mine to carry.

Another way I think about this in my head, and I like examples, but I like to think about like a cabinet. A cabinet is a container, but For me, if I clean a cabinet in my house, I'm happy.

Think about it. You get rid of all the stuff that you don't need. Everything is neat and tidy and it's place and there's space for things to flow around.

Because I let go of all the chaos in there, there's room for what needs to be there. Clean the cabinet. Clean a cabinet. Let a container be like a cabinet. Clean it. Make space. Let go of what's not needed.

It probably served you at one point and that's why you're holding on to it. But if it's not serving the you that you're becoming, it's okay to let it go. It's not a loss. It's making space

It's allowing yourself to rise to a you that you don't know yet. You've never been that person before. Drop it. Let the sandbag go. Set down the bricks. Clean your cabinet.

Again, you are the observer of your life. You create the definitions and meanings. It might be that you loved that bowl in the cabinet. You might have loved it with everything you had. Maybe it's got an extremely joyful memory attached to it

But it served you then. It served past you. Thank it and just let it go.

It sounds so much simpler, but we find ourselves finding reasons to hold on to things It's not gonna be easy. I wish it was. The more emotional something is, the more we feel tied to it. It has created a pathway somewhere and a connection to us. But that doesn't mean that that connection needs to go forward.

Now, I'm not suggesting that you go sell off your whole house and completely get rid of everything. Maybe you do, and if you do, congratulations, you got more willpower than I do. But you can let go of things and start making space because you need to rise. You gotta set down the bricks and sandbags. You need to unclench your fist You need to let yourself go. Let yourself rise. Let go of things that are holding you back.

A great way to do this is again that five-minute practice. Maybe you find another three minutes in your day. Do it in the shower. Go do this while you're driving. Go think, but somewhere find yourself a pocket where you can just ask yourself, is this still serving me?

That could be people, places, and things. I recommend thinking about a noun as a people, place, or a thing. Ask yourself, is this still serving me?

It might have served you before, like the sandbags and the hot air balloon. It probably had a great purpose, but if it is not serving future you It's time to give yourself permission to set it down. And I want you to do that. I want you to give yourself permission.

We find all the reasons to what if, what if, what if. Just give yourself permission. So what?

Well, I've had this bowl for 10 years. What about the one time I need to use it? Well, maybe you haven't used it for five years. What if I need to use it later? So what? There's another bowl. Set it down.

Clean your cabinet. Put the sandbags down. Let it go. If it's not serving you, give yourself permission to let that go. Give yourself permission to have that space. That's intentional letting go.

I give myself permission to create the space. That this once took up so something new can come in.

I remember seeing a little drawing of the universe at one point. And the universe said to somebody, Okay, I'm ready to give you your dream. And the little person said, but wait, I'm uncomfortable letting all this stuff go.

And the universe said, well, I can't move the things you want in unless you make space for them. You need to give yourself permission to let things go so there's room for future you to grow. It sounds simple, but yes, you just is this serving me? That is the easiest way to turn off the alarm system in the brain. and fear the loss of it. It's not a loss. It's making space.

You ask yourself, is this still serving me? And if the answer is no, Give yourself permission to let it go. Set it down. It's not yours to carry.

So when you're thinking about setting things down, I want to talk about it emotion versus logic because we are humans, we're emotional.

Have you ever been told set your feelings aside and be logical? In my day, Gen X, it was, I'll give you something to cry about.

Emotion is not the opposite of reason. It's actually the foundation. So that might even belie be a belief that you have that you're not allowed to be emotional.

I'm a girl. You know how many times I was told don't cry, don't show any emotion? But actually, that's wrong.

Emotion is what makes us human. It's actually what makes us authentic. It's actually what raises the vibe.

So you have an emotional brain and you have a logical brain, right? There's a mind-body connection. There's a reason they call it emotional intelligence.

Emotions are not interference. It's actually intelligence in motion.

Your emotions drive your thoughts and feelings, which drive your behaviors. Don't run from your emotion. I mean Yes, maybe don't be over dramatic. Don't go to too many extremes, which, by the way, I'm pretty dramatic. I think it's really important to think about those emotions as being intelligent. That is your intuition.

Like, for example, think about tightening in your chest when something makes you anxious. Or maybe that gut feeling that you know to listen to.

Those are not weaknesses. Those are your intuition. Those are your intelligence and motion. Learn to listen to them.

We are not thinking machines that feel. We are feeling machines that think.

I'm gonna say that again. We are not thinking machines that feel. We are feeling machines who think.

It's a different way of saying it, but I don't want you to run for your emotion. That's what makes you human. That's what makes you great.

Emotion will drive you. It's your motivation. It's the thing that helps you stick to things. It's the thing that makes connection. Your emotions are actually needed.

Your mental state will influence your physical health. Your physical health will influence your mental state. It's a loop. They are connected.

That was a really, really hard one for me when healing. is when they talked about it being stress poisoning, where I had to realize that my sickness in my body came from the sickness in my mind. No.

Mental health, a different way of thinking about it. It was the chronic stress. I had become addicted to stress and achieving, much like a drug addict who needs a fix. It was stuck in my mind that way. I was literally addicted to feeling stressed. And if I wasn't stressed and I achieved something, I created a new reason to Achieve something and have stress, it was the byproduct.

Now we live in a society that rewards you for overachieving I was awarded many, many times. I've been on the cover of magazines. I've had videos and stories done about me. Why? Because I'm a really good overachiever. I'm really good at what I do.

But the byproduct of that is what it did to me mentally, that mind-body connection. My emotions were constantly beating myself up. And it created disease in my body.

My body shut me down. It was like, girl, no more achieving You are going to now focus on the piece of you that wasn't there before. And so I need you to think about that.

Over time, stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. They weaken your immune system.

I was completely unaware. I thought I was succeeding. I was doing what society wanted me to do, what my bosses wanted me to do, what the revenue gods thought was great.

But they weakened my immune system until my body shut me down. I got my heart and brain so far out of alignment that I was shut down.

So now I live very different. I still achieve, I still have a day job, I still have adult responsibilities I got a mortgage, I pay taxes, I got cars and registrations, I got kids, I got things I gotta do just like everybody else

Living in society, there is always some place that they will take from you. They will take, take, take as long as you have to give.Y ou have to create boundaries that say no. You must protect your container at all costs. I want you to give yourself permission that no is a complete sentence. No is a complete sentence. No thank you is even nicer.

But I had to think about uh not explaining myself. That was probably the hardest part.

I was an overachiever. Externally, I was looking for everybody's validation, even if I wasn't aware of it completely, much like the Florida effect, right?

I wasn't aware that I was looking outside for everybody. Until I got my relationship with myself correct, I couldn't protect my boundaries.

I learned to value myself. Noah is a complete sentence.

Learning to not explain myself. Learning to let others misunderstand me. was one of the hardest emotional psychology mental health lessons I had to go through.

For some of you, that might be really, really easy. For me, it was not. It was not. That was my cross to bear.

I had to learn that one. I had to learn to let people misunderstand me.

I came up with a mantra and a boundary for me that that one crossed.

My boundary is that if it takes my piece, it's too expensive I had to make the choice, because it was literally life or death for me, that if it takes my peace, it's too expensive.

One of my mantras every day when I get up is. Girl, today we are going to hydrate and not raise our blood pressure. That is my job. So letting people misunderstand me. Letting no be a complete sentence. Often I'm a little bit nicer. My mother's very polite and taught me to be polite, so no thank you happens. I have to learn to not explain myself. It has been a couple of years and that is still hard on me.

I still feel the little person inside of me that wants to show up and explain myself.

I don't have to explain myself. No is a complete sentence. If it takes my peace, it's too expensive, and whether that person likes it or not.

If you look at previous episodes, you'll hear me talk about the way I see my life or my container. I think about it like a pie chart. One half of that circle belongs to my adult responsibilities. That could be my job. That could be my job as being a citizen. That could be the adult who drives down the road. That could be the person who has to go pay for the phone bill. Whatever that is. That is one half of my responsibility.

The other half of my pie chart is divided in two. One quarter belongs to me, and one quarter belongs to my family and friends.

You must protect your boundaries at all costs. Keep them simple because when life happens, and there are going to be moments where life just dumps on you, right? It just happens.

We can do our best, but not every day is rainbows and butterflies. I'm not ridiculous. I don't believe that. I think more often than not I can live a dream. But that doesn't mean to into each life a little rain must low

One of my favorite quotes is Maya Angelou, every storm runs out of rain.

So if I protect my boundaries, if I protect them, the storms will come and go, but I am still here. Protecting my boundaries allows me to do that. If it takes my peace, it's too expensive. And explaining myself to somebody who is committed to misunderstanding me That takes my peace. And honestly, it's still extremely hard. Every day I live, I have this feeling inside me that I want to return to the old me explain, get everybody on the same page

Now, there are people I explain myself to. I just don't have to explain myself to everybody.

Thanks for joining again.

Remember, karma is real. Energy is contagious and vibrations matter.